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confessions. chapter oneHello. I have been reading other spaces for several months and have finally managed to build up the courage to start a space of my own. I am doing this for me to express and confess (hey I made a rhyme) the many thoughts and feelings I have jumbled in my brain. I am new to blogging so please be patient. I have reached a place in my life to where I am beginning to reflect on the past ten years of my life and wonder where the fudge I went wrong. My immediate family consist of a mom and dad (of course), an older brother and two older sisters. I am the baby (kinda). One of my sisters had a child when she was 15 whom my parents have always raised. My parents adopted her so I guess she is the baby.
As I mentioned earlier, I need a place to write down the many things I have done over the past ten years. I have to say I am scared to death to see the "confessions" actually in words. And for people to see. But, this is for me.
My life has been filled with many trials and tribulations and I am not seeking sympathy. I just need to tell someone. I am not sure whether I want to start with the most recent drama or start from the beginning.
I will start from the beginning. When I was 19, I married (1991) my highschool sweetheart. We had a happy marriage for the first two years. then things started going down hill. My fault. I started hanging around a coworker (I was a waitess at the time) and she was single, crazy and free. Over the next two years, I spent more time with my new friend because I wanted the freedom she had. I experimented with 'green" and my husband caught me. he was angry and I felt he was controlling me. I left him not long after this event and moved in with my friend. I divorced in 1994.
My first apolgy goes out to my ex husband. You were a wonderful husband and I did not realize it at the time.
He has remarried and has a child last I heard. I hope he is happy. We live in the same town and I have not seen him or ran into him since we were divorced.
I will end my first entry with my first confession. I was wrong and if I could go back in time and change the hurt I caused him, i would. |
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